In limbo..

I had my second blood test (beta) this morning & I'm currently in limbo, waiting to hear the result.

I'm not feeling too positive about it now. First thing this morning I took another HPT and the pregnancy line was lighter than yesterday afternoon's very dark one. The clinic nurse also didn't fill me with any hope. I guess I prefer people to be realistic with me & not fill me with false expectations. I double checked & my levels at 12dp5dt were HCG = 265, P4 = 31.

Of course my bleeding has stopped today. It was still quite heavy at times yesterday but today I'm only getting these weird brown flakes / specks in my urine. I can only guess it's remnants of tissue being expelled. I had some more cramps & abdominal pain yesterday too.. that's never good.

This journey is such a damn rollercoaster! I almost wish I hadn't had the first blood test & just went on with life thinking my period had come & we were unsuccessful this round. To be given hope again is just cruel. 

I don't know whether this was a chemical pregnancy, blighted ovum, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy (again), a regular miscarriage, or one of those far-fetched miracle stories you hear about but never believe.

This two week wait (2ww) is into its third week.. still waiting..