April 16, 2012

10w3d (yes, still pregnant!)

Just a quick post to let you know I'm still here & still pregnant.

Sorry I haven't posted for a while.. but I haven't had a lot to say.
I'm just living day by day & wishing the weeks away!
We told our families about the pregnancy & of course they're thrilled.
But for some reason it's made me more nervous.
I feel more people are riding on this one sticking.

It still doesn't feel real.
Although sometimes, like today, I feel crap which is reassuring.
I'm not going to complain because I know a LOT of women suffer badly with morning sickness.
I haven't been sick as such, but I'm nauseous a fair bit, especially when I don't eat every hour or two.
And I'm tired a lot, which isn't great when you're a shift worker like myself.
I've worked a lot of afternoon/night shifts which have been a struggle & then today I started work at 3.45am.
That sucked. And I've been suffering for it all day, despite trying to get a nap in when I got home.

OK, I realise that's complaining.
I'm seriously grateful for the symptoms! 
I even worry that I don't have enough. You can never be happy.
My boobs are still veiny but they're not very sore anymore & they don't feel any bigger yet.
When other women tell me what theirs felt like in early pregnancy I have a pang of nervousness.. kind of like I'm being discovered as a fraud or something. Sounds weird but it's how I feel.

Anyway, I'm going to bed now.
I've been up reading Facebook & other blogs & I've shed way too many tears.
Everything makes me cry &, in turn, more exhausted.

I have two days off now so I'm going to rest up & recoup.
Only 2 more weeks until my next scan & hopefully some sort of comfort & reassurance.
I'm tempted to sneak a visit to my OB tomorrow to check on things but DP is urging me to wait & see how much bigger "Malibu" has grown by the 12 week scan.

Patience is a virtue.. and mine is being tested!!