ICSI #3 - 8dp5dt HPT result

I peed into a container first thing this morning but almost couldn't bring myself to test! I spent an hour googling "how to prepare for a BFN"! But the general advice was that there was no way to prepare.

I finally summoned up the courage to test (despite my heart jumping out of my chest) and here it is:





+++++++


UPDATE: Here's the pic.. I was in such a state I couldn't figure out to how to upload the photo properly!

7dp5dt - OHSS &/or PG???

Feeling pretty rubbish today.

So short of breath right now.. it's been on & off for a few days. I took yesterday off work cos I thought it was just caused by my hugely stressful shift at work on Monday. Yesterday wasn't too bad but today it's picked up. And all I've done today is laze around on the couch & have a 3hr nap in the middle of the day!

I'm also getting tummy pain. I've had slight AF type cramps since about 2dpET but now it kind of seems like bladder irritation.. like I've waited too long to pee. I wake up early busting for the loo and have been going fairly regularly throughout the day so I don't think it's that. I've got a tiny bit of lower back pain too. And I'm still a bit bloated with lots of gas (poor DP!). My nose is really stuffy which could be the cause of my sore throat (sleeping with mouth open). 

I was originally thinking I had pg symptoms & was feeling quite positive.. but now I feel like it could be OHSS. I don't think I've put much weight on though.. and my stomach isn't any bigger than it normally is during a cycle.

I'm thinking I might ring the clinic tomorrow & ask the nurses about it all. I also want to mention my Crinone sticks are going to run out a few days before my BT on Tuesday. That happened last time & they didn't get me to pick up some more.. apparently it's not that important. I've got to fly interstate for a a few days on Friday & we're seriously short-staffed (more than usual) so I can't be off sick. Oh the joy!

Anyhoo.. thinking of POAS tomorrow (!). Bought some yesterday & the temptation might just get to me. It's my last day off tomorrow before I fly out & I really don't want to find out (either by testing or by AF) whilst I'm away. I'd rather do it with DP home so I've got a whole day to deal with a negative if it comes.. 

Just typing that made my stomach drop. Please please please don't be bad news!!!

5dp5dt ramblings

(I actually had to check what day I was up to on this 2ww - crazy!)

So MAJOR meltdown today. I just had THE most stressful day at work (and I have many in my job, they come with the territory) but today was pretty bad. And yesterday was a doozy too. I feel like I'm killing my embryo. It's making me super cranky.. like the bitch from Hell!!

I lost it at poor DP tonight because he finished the milk (my special organic milk) and didn't replace it. He ended up going out at 10.30pm to buy some more. I'm such a cow (which incidentally would be handy if I could produce my own milk!).

So I decided to chuck a sickie tomorrow. Normally I would feel hugely guilty cos my colleagues then have to pick up the slack & we're already short-staffed. But I really feel like I have to do this for myself & my potential baby... if it's still in there. My GP has offered a few times to write me a certificate if I feel like I need time off from work. But I've never taken her up on it due to the guilt factor. Now I definitely need to take a "sanity" day & chill out.

Unfortunately we've got a rent inspection tomorrow morning (!) so I've spent the evening (after my nightmare shift) on my hands & knees scrubbing floors & bathroom tiles with bleach. I lost it big time again because the sponge fell off the mop while I was trying to scrub, and cos I was using chemicals which is BAAAADDD! Now I really feel genuinely sick. I'm not sure if I'm imagining it but these smells are really getting to me & making me a bit nauseous. I also got quite short of breath at work today but that could have been the stressful situation.

Well now I have 3 days off (and so does DP :) so hopefully I can relax & look after myself a bit better.

I can hear you asking: are you going to POAS? I'm not sure yet. Last cycle I did it at 6dp5dt & it was a super faint line (almost non-existent). I remember obsessing over whether the second line was there or not. I'm not sure I want to do that to myself this time. I'm also not sure I want bad news when I feel like maybe I could be?? I think I want to live in hope just a bit longer. We'll see......

2ww thoughts

We have no frosties.. so frustrated.

Also feeling guilty about flying so soon after ET.
And lifting my cabin luggage.
And eating the sandwich on the plane - it had ham & mayonnaise.

So hungry today.. stomach churning, feels empty all the time (apart from just after the massive room service steak & extra side of fries I smashed earlier). Probably in my mind.
Going out of my mind & it's only been 2 days.

How will I get through this? At least I'll be manically busy at work tomorrow.

ICSI #3 - Costs So Far..

Costs so far for this cycle:

$693 - DP's sperm extraction theatre fees (16/2)

has basic hospital cover - no Medicare rebate

$0 - My egg retrieval theatre fees - nothing payable (16/2)

top hospital cover

$8645 - ICSI cycle fees (21/2)

Medicare rebate $5062 = out of pocket $3583


$488 - DP's Anaesthetist fees for TESE on EPU day
Medicare rebate $133, waiting for private health rebate

$469 - My Anaesthetist fees for EPU

Medicare rebate $119, waiting for private health rebate

More to come....

ICSI #3 - Embryo Transfer

I'm officially PUPO.. again. We have one embryo on board! I told DP it was like we were picking up our baby from the babysitter.. they've just been minding it for us. He of course shook his head.

The lab will let the other embryos sit overnight & see how they're developing tomorrow. They'll ring & let us know if there's any worth freezing.. fingers crossed but I'll be shocked if there are! We haven't had any success in that department as yet.

But on a positive note, we had one "expanding blastocyst" to transfer. Last time we had a "hatching blastocyst" but this is still just as promising. My FS said it should start hatching within the next few hours or so if it's a good embryo.

Our clinic here in Australia doesn't prescribe bed rest after a transfer, as opposed to the US & other countries, so they usher you out of the transfer room immediately afterwards. It's unnerving to get up so soon but I've researched this & found out bed rest is an outdated recommendation & is now found to be unnecessary. I did, however, lay on the couch watching TV for about an hour when we got home. After that I decided not to waste a beautiful day off from work with DP & we went for a lovely drive up to Newport for lunch. I didn't go for a run or anything but I certainly wasn't still. Fingers crossed the movement increases the blood flow to the right regions for implantation.

Speaking of movement, I'm flying interstate (2hr flight) for work again tomorrow afternoon so I'm a bit nervous about its effect. I'm going to make sure I get up a couple of times & walk around & stretch.. It's also a highly stressful job but I've got to keep as calm as possible. I know it's not good for this situation.

Right now I'm feeling pretty good & fairly positive.

Time to try & fit all my potions into my small carry-on luggage.. I think it's going to be a struggle! ;-)

ICSI #3 - 3dpEC Update

The lab called today.. it seems we now have SIX embryos dividing away (one more than the last time they called!). One is only at the 3-cell stage which is lagging behind. Two are already reaching the morula stage ahead of time!! I couldn't hear the assistant properly when she rattled off how many cells the others were at but just glad two are doing so well. They'll call again tomorrow to give me another update & the time for my transfer on Wednesday.

I'm a bit chirpier today. I've been pretty moody lately & poor DP has copped it :( Today I went back to work (for 3.30am thanks very much!!) and my shift went fairly well considering. I'm feeling a lot better today, just a few slight twinges in my belly but nothing too painful. I went back & re-read my blogs from the last 2 cycles. It seems I also had sore nipples as well as bad gas & gas pains then too. It's all coming back to me now. Luckily the bleeding stopped after the first day and a half.

I also just remembered that I drank 100% purple grape juice last cycle & didn't have any handy this time. So we went shopping at the supermarket & could only get reconstituted juice. I'm sure it doesn't make a hell of a difference if I drink it or not but now I'm feeling superstitious - it worked last time so what if it was the juice?! I also bought a pineapple & have just made myself a smoothie with pineapple core, rockmelon, blueberries, chocolate Sustagen Hospital Formula powder, yoghurt & organic full cream milk - it's a little bitter & I'm struggling to down it. Every morning I also eat bran cereal sprinkled with sunflower seeds, pepitas, blueberries & goji berries. The breakfast has been a ritual for some time, as has the organic milk & Sustagen every night. And I only drink Rooibos Tea, no caffeine at all. I'm sure if I was someone else listening to me I'd tell me how ridiculous I'm being LOL! But it's fun to feel like I have some control over the situation.

Well, off to bed. It's another 3am wake-up call for tomorrow! I've been trying to read trashy romance novels every night to take my mind off things.. but I'm sure I will dream of happy little embryos bursting out of their skins to meet me! :-)