Who was I kidding in my last post?
Every day.. in fact EVERY TIME I go to the toilet I stress out.
I expect to see blood.
I keep wondering WHEN it's going to happen, not IF.
I feel totally different this pregnancy from the last time. That should give me some comfort. But I have regular aches & pains in my lower back & stomach, and they aren't reassuring. I didn't have ANY pains the last time and so the blood was totally out of the blue! I don't want to be caught off guard this time.. but obviously I don't want it to happen at all.
My breasts are a little achey but not a lot. I think I see more veins but then I think I'm just imagining them. My nipples are definitely sore to the touch but that could just be from the remnants of the progesterone supplements. I ran out of them before my blood test but (TMI warning) I'm still getting clumps coming out once in a while.
Two more weeks until my first ultrasound. It's one obstacle to overcome - seeing a heartbeat. But I know from experience this isn't the guarantee. There's so many more to come.
I'm sorry to all those still going through the IVF process who might think I'm ungrateful. I'm not. It's just a long journey & I won't be relaxed or come to terms with it until I have that baby in my arms. It's a long way off.
From all the blogs I follow, it seems to be a very common fear among ivf patients and also among ladies who have lost. Try to keep your chin up.
ReplyDeleteThanks Toni.. We do definitely tend to feel robbed of the exciting experience most "fertiles" get to have. We know too much about what can go wrong & how delicate the situation is.
ReplyDelete