Still pregnant.. still shocked

Ok, so we're still pregnant. 5 weeks tomorrow to be exact! And yes, I'm still in shock!
For some reason, I thought once I got a BFP all my problems would be solved. Not exactly.
I am so anxious! I stupidly keep reading stories about women miscarrying early, or not finding a heartbeat on their ultrasound, or finding it's ectopic. Why do I read??

On the plus side I'm having a few slight pg symptoms which help to calm me down. My sense of smell was the first to kick in. I've almost yelled at the caretakers in my building twice now for using overpowering, toxic chemicals to clean in the corridor.. but then DH says he can hardly notice it! I have to stuff the gap under our door with a towel to stop the smell coming in. And to top it off they've just painted walls at work.. needless to say I have to run past with tissues over my nose & mouth!
And all this isn't helping the slight nausea I'm starting to experience. My stomach feels "empty" all the time & gurgles constantly. I have to eat regularly to feel better. So far so good. I also thought I'd be sleeping all the time but unfortunately I'm finding it hard to get to sleep. I also wake up early when I could actually sleep in. Most annoying. Now I'm just tired all the time & frustrated.
So far I don't have sore or veiny BBs, despite constant monitoring.
I think I look 5 months pg already.. still bloated since the start of my cycle!
And yes, my skin is still nasty. Today I noticed a pimple on my abdomen. What next!!!?
Well, time to attempt some sleep & happy dreams.
Ni-night x

ICSI #2 - 12dp5dt - We're preggers!!!!!!!!!

So, had the beta (blood test) this morning. I didn't mention that I'd already tested myself.. the nurse didn't ask & wasn't very chatty. They called me around midday today & said "Congratulations!". I went quiet. It's weird.. I mean, I knew already from the HPTs.. but to have it confirmed by the experts is a whole 'nother thing.

Very excited, very happy, very shocked, very numb, very exhausted. Finally, after 10 years of wishing, I finally have my POSITIVE! My Mum is elated.

Now, I was told to start considering which hospital & which OB I'd like to go to. Decisions decisions! It seems I have to make a decision ASAP. Any advice?? I have private health insurance, but do I go private & pay hefty bills? Do I go as a private patient in a public hospital? Or do I just go public? Should I keep my fertility specialist as my OB (he's a VERY busy man with many commitments) but he's local. I'm sure he'll be very expensive. I'm tossing up between Royal North Shore Hospital (private & public), the Mater, or Manly? I'm closer to the first two, unless we move to the Northern Beaches which we've been considering for some time.

Oh ladies please help me! My head is spinning!!!!

xx

Beta tomorrow

First beta (blood test) tomorrow - please wish me luck! DH won't get excited until it's confirmed by the clinic. I'm thinking of POASing again tomorrow morning before we go.. just to make QUADRUPLY sure I'm not rudely shocked by a negative result.

Fingers, toes & everything else crossed for a big number!!

ICSI #2 - 10dp5dt - HPT.. Still ++++!!!

Well, I haven't had any "symptoms" or "signs" for a few days now. Hence my obsessive compulsive POASing! I still have regular leaking from the Crinone (which is normal), and my skin is still a mess - it's not just on my face but on my neck & chest as well - YUCK! The Apple Cider Vinegar seems to be controlling it a little, but it's nowhere near fixing the problem. But hey - I'll live with it if it means I get results like this! ;-)

On another note, I got a letter from Medicare yesterday showing I get NO BENEFIT from the $7540 I forked out for my IVF cycle!!!!! Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhh! It's a mistake of course. The explanation is "referring provider is closed". This came up in my last cycle for one of the other costs, but after calls back & forth, then personally going into the Medicare office, they finally just said it was a mistake & approved the rebate.

I called Medicare yesterday and they think my referring GP (who no longer works at the medical centre I went to) put the wrong provider number on my referral. When I called the IVF clinic they couldn't figure out what was wrong, and said they couldn't change the provider number anyway as this would affect other patients who were referred by the same doctor. She said she'd call me back. I'm still waiting. God I hate red tape!! Especially when I'm thousands of dollars down! Mega frustrated. Thank God my tests have been positive, otherwise I'd want to rip someone's head off... literally!

ICSI #2 - 8dp5dt - HPT.. OMG!

So, did another test this morning after stupidly reading Google posts that suggested my faint positive could have been the remnants of my Trigger shot. Well, Google, have I got news for you!!!

A DARKER line! Woo!

Hurry up Beta! Monday can't come soon enough.. When can I start C E L E B R A T I  N G !!!!?

ICSI #2 - 6dp5dt - HPT

Ok, I caved today. Despite reading bad things all morning about POAS! I peed into a container first thing this morn, then didn't test til lunchtime, and....
A very very faintest of faint positives!

Not sure whether to tell DP yet (we're working oppositive shifts so I won't see him for a couple of days). Don't want to get our hopes up in case it's a false positive. It was a First Response & I have another one so I think I'll test again in a few days. Beta blood test isn't until next Monday (6 days away).

Well here it is, let me know what you think:

ICSI #2 - 5dp5dt: Symptoms, Signs or Side Effects??

Why do pregnancy symptoms have to be so similar to AF signs & so close to progesterone side effects??? Ugh. OK.. here's my "complaints" so far, for the record.

* Lower abdominal & back cramping started today
(similar to onset of AF)

* Slight nausea yesterday & today

* Flu symptoms starting 2dp5dt but easing slightly - sore throat, stuffy nose, lethargic, also swollen glands/lymph nodes one side of neck & under chin

* Reflux

* Burping
(not unusual for me, but a little more excessive)

* Gas
(poor DP has to wear a mask before entering the bedroom :-0)

* Wet discharge for a few days now
(apparently this is probably the Crinone leaking out)

* Bloating
(started during stim phase & hasn't gone away)

* BAD acne!
(also started during stim phase, not abating)

Thinking about POAS (testing) tomorrow morning but I may chicken out. I want to live in hope for as long as I can, but also don't want false hope if it's negative, or unnecessary stress if it's positive. Who knows if it will even be correct?

I never thought I'd say this but: thank god I'm back at work tomorrow.. just to take my mind off it all for a while. Although I'd just be swapping one stress for another. Oh the confusion & insanity!! Save me now!